Random and sometimes scary drabbles
by VampireloverD
Summary: Some may cause mild side effects... im thinking of my own ones but would like requests too! the pack, cullens and volturi are involved so far!
1. New Carpet

**Random drabbles of DOOM!!! AHHHHHHH!!!**

**If you have any requests, just leave them in a review and ill try them.**

**I do not own and this shall not change at any point in this story! (if it does ill tell you)**

**Words: 129**

**Chapter 1: New carpet**

Bella sighed in Edwards arms. They had gotten back from Volterra a few weeks ago and she had hardly been seen without him. She reluctantly pulled herself out of his arms and walked across a new carpet to Esme's kitchen.

She stopped and curled her toes through the carpet, enjoying the soft, silky feeling on them. She turned to Edward. "When did you get this rug?" he smiled warmly at her. "We had it put down yesterday."

She nodded, accepting his explanation. She continued to the kitchen and pulled a muffin from the cupboard. She stares at the carpet, noting the reddish-brown colour and odd shape, almost as if it had been stretched to cover the entire floor. As she chews, another thought occurs to her.

"Edward, where's Jacob?"

**Mwuhahahaha!!! **

**Ideas?**


	2. Forbidden Love

**Chapter 2: Forbidden Love**

**This one is Very disturbing!!!**

**Words: 55**

He stopped in front of her and took her face in his hands.

"I love you so much! I always have. Will you marry me?"

She gasped. "Of course! I have been waiting for you to ask me!"

He picks her up and spins her around.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too, Charlie!"

**Yeah… it was wrong…**

**Requests!**


	3. 2 lover to none

**Chapter 3: 2 lovers to none**

**Words: 239**

Edward and Jacob stood in front of Bella. They exchanged glances and Jacob said, "Bella… you might want to sit down…" she looked at them confused as she slowly sunk into the chair.

Edward cleared his throat and looked uncomfortably at her. "Bella… I will always love you… but… em…its hard to say this but…Jacob imprinted on me." Bella looked in shock at them both.

"We didn't tell you at first because of how broken you were last time." Bella looked at Jacob. When he nodded with a sad smile she gasped and slumped into the chair.

The boys both looked at her. "She fainted." Jacob stated. He seemed guilty. Edward pulled him close, kissed him and said "it was for the best. I can't deny our love any longer." With that they exited through the window, leaving the unconscious girl behind.

Bella found herself shaken awake the next morning by Edward. She gasped and kissed him. He kissed her back, wondering what it was about. She spoke, "Edward, I had a horrible dream! Jacob imprinted on you and he didn't tell me because I was so broken the last time."

Edward's eyes widened. "Bella, I have something to tell you…"

Alice ran through the window, seeing Bella laid on the floor. No sign of Edward anywhere. She shook Bella awake. Bella stood up and whimpered something like, "Edward…Jacob…Imprinted…" Alice sighed. _At least we don't have to pretend anymore._

**Requests!**


	4. Insanity

**Chapter 4: Insanity**

**Words: 572**

Aro turned to Bella. She was confused. Did he mean join them as a vampire or for lunch?

Suddenly she knew her answer.

"Yes" Aro looked delighted. Alice gasped and Edward Shrieked. Very high pitched…ow.

"No" they looked confused now.

"Yes, No, yes, no," Edward took her hand. She snatched it away and started skipping in a circle singing, "I'm a little teapot, short and stoat. Here's my handle, here's my spout! I'm a little teapot, short and stoat. Pick me up and pour me out! Woo hoo!"

She now had the entire Volturi's attention. She jumped up to Edward and said," Eddie-kins, while you were away I screwed Jacob and Sam and Embry and Quil and Mike and Paul and Tyler and Eric and Victoria…" Edward looked in shock. "But I'm still a virgin! WHEEEEEEE!!!"

She turned to Marcus. "Why don't you smile? Are you really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really

sad? ALLLLLLLL THE TIME?" Marcus stared at her before nodding slowly.

Bella gasped and fell to her knees, sobbing. "I didn't know! Honest!" she jumped up and hugged him. "IM SO SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" he awkwardly hugged her back and she grinned and ran down the steps again. She stopped in front of Jane, who was giggling.

"Do you like decapitating Barbie's?" she asked. Jane nodded, grinning wildly. Bella squealed. "Its soooooooo fun!" she was skipping around again when she suddenly stopped and stared at the ceiling.

"Hello Mr Fairy, how are you today? I'm fine. Wait, where are you going? COME BACK MR. FAIRY! I NEED YOU! I LOVE YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Edward grabbed her and said who are you talking to?" she rolled her eyes and said, ". Duh"

Edward called Jacob on his phone. "Jacob, is Bella insane?"

_Yeah. Why?_

She's going on abut someone called Mr. Fairy.

_Oh Yeah. Whatever you do, don't say…_

"Bella! Mr. Fairy doesn't exist!" Bella gasped, as did, Jane, Heidi, Alec, Felix and… Caise? They then ganged up on him. "TAKE IT BACK!" Felix screamed. Jacob and the rest of the pack ran in and Jacob ran to Bella, scoped her up and Whispered, "It's ok… Mr. Fairy does exist…"

Emily, Kim, Claire, Jane and Heidi all turned to Edward, they stormed over to him and threw him into a wall. The dust went up like in cartoons where you can't see the fight until Sam shouted, "STOP!" they all paused. Emily had one of Edwards's arms in her teeth. She spat it out and walked away. Jane and Heidi turned to them and said, "I'm Jane and this is Heidi. I think we're going to be good friends.

Bella ran up to them and the girls started walking out the door. They paused, turned back to their boyfriends and said," We're breaking up with you." Linked arms and walked upstairs, presumably to get the Barbie's and the hacksaws.

The boys all turned to stare at each other. "What now?" Sam Asked

**I thought of it a while ago and thought it was funny…**

**REQUESTS!**


	5. Runaway

**Necron Warrior has helped me with a hell of a lot of ideas. (this is what we do instead of studying)**

**Chapter 5: Runaway**

Bella stuffed the last of her possessions into the bag. She put on her coat and shoes, took of her wedding ring and put it on her desk. With that done she dropped her bag out the window and climbed out after it. Somehow she mansged to get down the street without harming herself.

A car came up to her. She sighed and climbed in and they drove off to the airport. Bella leaned over and kissed the vampire.

When Edward came round the next day, he saw the ring and freaked. He phoned Alice, who didn't answer. He frowned and heard a bump inside the closet. He opened it and out fell Alice, tied up and gagged.

He ripped the gag off and she shouted, "I tried to stop her! Honest! She ran off with him!" Edward tensed. "who?" he had visions of her running off with Jacob.

"Count Dracula, she said that Sparkling was stupid."

**Try giving me random little phrases and ill see if I can change them into stories. **


	6. Aro’s Happiness

**Chapter 6: Aro's Happiness**

Jane ran down the corridors, her brother close behind her. "give it back!" he shouted at her. Jane giggled and ran faster, the Crack still in her hand. They ran into Caius, who grabbed the crack and gave them a stern lecture about how crack was bad for you.

"but how do we know what we can and cant do?" Alec asked. Caius thought and answered, "do as adults around you do." The twins nodded and scowled as he walked away with their crack.

"your fault."Alec mumbled. Jane glared at him and stormed down the corridor. They encountered noone as they knew to stay away when Jane was like this. Alec looked between two statues and smirked as he saw Felix hiding there.

Jane walked into Aro's room, Alec following, and stopped. Aro was smoking Crack! They stared at him for a few moments, until he offered them some. They shrugged and took a piece each.

What Caius dosnt know wont hurt him.

**Aro's on crack!**


	7. 2 werewolves and a tooth

**Chapter 7: 2 werewolves and a tooth**

"Harder, Harder!" Jacob shouted at the werewolf who was on top of him. Embry groaned in response and shouted,"I'm going as hard as I can!"

The next few minutes were full of groaning, and a crash. Bella came to join the rest of the pack in the kitchen. She winced and asked Sam what was going on." Sam grimaced, "Embry is helping Jacob with a problem." Bella nodded in complete understanding.

"I hate when that happens."

They all winched again as there was a loud scream of pain and a shout of "I got it!" Embry walked out with Jacob following, holding his jaw in pain. Embry proudly held his trophy.

One very rotten tooth.

**You have sick minds, what did you think was happening?"**


	8. Boys meeting

**Chapter 8: Boys meeting**

**Right, I've numbered all my ideas and have put my playlist into randomise and whatever number the song is going to be the number that I put up.**

**Number: 24**

The Cullen boys sat in their claimed room in the attic. They got together every few months to discuss urgent matters. This month's discussion was about the girls hiding in Alice's room all the time.

Jasper frowned, "I think that they are plotting world domination!" his answer was three stares in his direction. Edward shook his head and said, "I can't find Bella anywhere, I think they may have kidnapped her." The others gasped in horror.

"I think they have her tied up,"

_Gasp_

"And are giving her… a makeover!"

_More gasping in absolute horror_

Emmett shook his head sadly, "we need to rescue her!" the others agreed and 5 minutes later, Jasper was wearing a dress with his hair in a ponytail and makeup drawn crudely on his face. "Why do I have to do it?" he whined.

"Because you have the longest hair and we need to rescue Bella." Carlisle said as he stood back to examine their work. "I think it will fool them" each of them saluted as Jasper bravely started on his dangerous and treacherous journey through the unknown lands. (Alice's wardrobe)

The remaining boys waited, worried about their warrior that had been sent into the unknown. They heard a bump and Edward ran downstairs to see what it was. Laid on the ground was a girl with straight blond hair, perfect makeup and the same dress that Jasper had been wearing.

It took a few minutes for it to click. "Jasper!" Edward picked him up and shouted, "Man down! Man down!" he ran back to Headquarters and laid the fallen warrior on the medical bed. Carlisle began surgery and Emmett and Edward sat on the sidelines watching in worry.

"Will he be ok?" Emmett asked tearfully. Carlisle looked him straight in the eye and whispered, "I don't know. He may never recover." After a few minutes, Jasper muttered, "girls… said…don't…plot against the… pixie… and that our… makeup was…disgraceful…" with that he sunk back into unconsciousness.

The boys groaned as they realised one very important thing.

Alice could see the future,


	9. today’s the day the teddy bears are havi

**Chapter 9: today's the day the teddy bears are having a rave**

**Number: 17**

Edward watched as his girlfriend, sister and brother were skipping around the kitchen. They were all giggling as they took biscuits, tea and cake and put it in a bag they had. Suddenly, Jasper spun around in a ballerina pose, grabbed the bag and skipped out of the room, Alice and Bella following.

Edward followed them down to the meadow, they sang all the way down. It sounding like the were repeating the words, "Today's the day the teddy bears are having a rave." Edward shook his head and followed them. He was shocked to see hundreds of teddy bear on the ground, with a disco ball and stereo.

Bella ran up, turned on the stereo and then the three of them started playing with the the teddies, making them dance in time to the music. Jasper jumped up and started…strangling one of the bears? The girls gathered around, shouting, "Fight, Fight!"

I shook my head and made a mental note to never let Bella have alcohol and watch the news when there were mentions of Raves on.


	10. Jacob and Edward become BFFs

**Chapter 10: Jacob and Edward become BFFs.**

**Number: 35**

Bella sat down, waiting for Edward and Jacob to come and start fighting over her again. It was so boring, why couldn't they become friends?

Jacob walked in, Edward after him. Bella sighed and tuned out their arguing voices. It wasn't for a few minutes that she realised that they weren't fighting. She opened her eyes slowly and saw them both sat next to each other.

"and then maybe we could go out and play video games or something!" Jacob was saying. Edward nodded and said, "yeah cuz we're best friends, now and forever! And we'll never leave each others side will we?" they carried on like that for a few minutes.

Bella decided that she didn't want them to be friends anymore.


	11. Buried

**Chapter 11: Buried**

**Number: 5**

She screamed as her head was covered by the vampire above her. He was filling in the hole that he had just thrown her into. With seconds her entire body was covered and all she could see where the grains of sand around her. She swore revenge on the vampire that had done this to her.

Edward read his magazine. He was interrupted by Bella saying, "do you hear something?" Edward listened then shook his head. Bella shrugged and climbed onto the boat, the rest of the Cullen's behind her.

Jasper jumped out of his plane seat. "we've forgotten someone!" he yelped. Everyone looked around and realised that Alice was not there. Edward smirked and turned back to his magazine while the others ran around looking for her. They would never find her.


	12. Bella and animals

**Chapter 12: Bella and animals**

**Number: 9**

Edward stared at the golden monkey in Bella's arms. "isn't he gorgeous?" she cooed over it. The rest of the family were smiling. Edward started to smile until bella said, "Edward, I cant marry you now that I have a monkey, I would have to get rid of him if I changed ionto a vampire." Edward began to glare as she walked out, still fussing over the bundle of hair in her arms.

Later that night, a figure crept into Bella's room. It located the monkey and with a flash of silver, brought a knife down on it. It crept back out, leaving Bella sleeping.

Edward waited at the school, eager to see Bella. He grinned when her truck pulled up, Bella crying. "I found him…on the floor…mutilated! He was in a pool of blood!" she wailed. Rosalie and Alice guided her away, comforting her, telling her that it would have been quick and painless. Edward smirked, not likely.

Later, everyone was at the cullen's house except for bella and Rosalie. They walked in. Edward grinned and moved toward Bella, but stopped when he saw the black and white kitten in Bella's arms. She smiled proudly, "this is Holly." Rosalie smiled and said that she had helped her pick it. Edward scowled as he realised that she was distantly related to Smudge, a vampire cat.

**VAMPIRE CAT!!!!**


	13. Girls meeting

**Hi! I'm Alive! I would be updating Hidden Past or Finding Nova but theyre on my laptop and I cant go on that after nine oclock.**

**You might want to reread 'Boys meeting'.**

**Number: 22**

**Girls meeting**

Alice slammed a fist onto the table. "I think the boys are suspicious as to what we are doing in here." She stated. Esme, Rosalie and Bella gasped dramatically.

"what makes you think that Alice?" Esme asked. Alice looked at her blankly. "becauswe I saw them getting suspicious." They nodded, that made sense.

"they cant find out our plans for world domination!" Bella said fearfully. Alice paused for a minute. "don't worry, Jasper suggested it but the others dismissed it. Foolish boys." She shook her head.

A knock was heard on the door. Esme opened it and stared at Jasper with terrible makeup. Alice screamed in horror as Rosalie grabbed him and tied him up. Bella whispered, "will it be ok?" Esme came over, "we can fix it with some surgery." She stated as Alice brought ut the makeup and hair straightners.

A few minutes later, jaspers makeup and hair were perfect. Alice grabbed and growled at him, "don't plot against the pixie. And your makeup was disgraceful." With that thefour threw him out of the room, shaking their heads in disgust.

"Now, back to our plots of world domination…"

**Jasper was right…**


	14. Zombie attack! RUN!

**Number: 6**

**Zombie attack! RUN!!**

Bella ran down the hallways of the Cullen's house. she ran into the kitchen and screamed as a shadow jumped out at her. She swung the knife that she held in her hand at it. "ouch!" Bella opened her eyes and looked at the zombie she had attacked. "sorry Edward! I thought you were a zombie!"

Edward glared at her. "have you seen the others?" he asked. Bella sobbed, "Alice is dead; they ganged up on her in the garden, Esme was dragged off kicking and screaming, I haven't seen the others." Edward groaned, "Alice was our best bet of getting out of here alive!"

The door swung open and a girlish scream was heard. The figures came fully in and Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett stared at them. "don't scream Bella, they'll find us!" Rosalie hissed. Bella looked confused. "it wasn't me." They all looked at Edward and shook their heads.

"Carlisles dead. He stayed behind to hold them off." Emmett whispered. Bella cried silently. "Then they'll come for us next." They stood in fearful silence for a minute when Jasper screamed. "they'll kill us all! Were doomed! I wont let them kill me!" with that he leapt out of the window. "NO JASPER!" They screamed, but it was too late. "we have to go!" Edward shouted as the zombies began piling in the room.

They ran out and Rosalie shouted, "we need to slow them down!" as one they all looked at Edward. "thanks for volenterring!" Bella shouted as she pushed him down the stairs to the waiting zombies. His screams were heard as the three locked themselves into Alice's room. They had only a few minutes peace before the window was smashed and Emmett pulled through. "NO!" Rosalie screamed. "he's gone!" Bella shouted as she pulled the girl out of the room.

They came to the basement. "why did we come here?" Bella asked. Rosalie began to reply when the zombies came down the stairs. "go!" Rosalie screamed as she pushed Bella out of the window. "No matter what, you must get to the school! If you set off the bomb there, the zombies will be destroyed! Your our only hope Bella!" Bella nodded and ran as the zombies closed on Rosalie.

Bella calmed herself down. "Its just you now Bella!" she told herself. She started to run towards the school but stopped, looking at something.

Five minutes later, Bella was roaring down the road in Alice's Porsche. Thank god Jake had toaght her how to hot wire cars! She arrived at the school in record time and ran towards the gym.

She was almost there when the zombies jumped out at her. She screamed and ran. Within minutes however, they had her cornered. Bella sobbed as she realised just how close she was to her goal. She screamed again as they started to close in on her. Suddenly something attacked. Bella looked up and saw Jacob stood there. He cleared a path in the zombies and Bella ran to the bomb with him. They quickle activated it and ran out, driving away in Alice's porxche, just as the school blew up.

Bella and Jacob high-fived and looked casually at the Cullens. "we beat you!" Jacob shouted. Bella smirked. "we did this all the time when you left." The cullen's glared at them. "Rematch!" Edward shouted. Jacob shrugged and turned the game on again.

Half-life 2 was a very good game.

**Ha Ha! I have no idea if that actually happens in Half-Life 2 but it was the only zombie game I could think of.**


	15. World domination

**I haven't updated in ages… I'm actually updating now because my dads in the bathroom and I have nothing else to do…Well I could be reading but…**

**Number: 33**

**Insanity**

Marcus looked at Aro. He was saying something about a game. DDR, whatever that was. Marcus sighed and glanced at Caius who was trying to strangle himself. He sighed again and a flicker of light near the ceiling caught his attention. He stared at it and saw a ball of light with…a fairy in the middle?

_What the hell?_He thought as the fairy saw him and starting giggling in glee.

_You can see me too! This is perfect! Soon my plans of world domination shall be complete! _The fairy cackled._ Now do you realise that the ones who can see me are not the insane! The ones who cannot are! But they shall all see some day! MWUHAHAHA!_

Marcus stared in disbelief at the fairy. Didymes death had destroyed his mind.

Jane frowned and glanced around the room to see who the fairy was talking to. Her eyes widened and she nudged Alec who starting texting all of the members of their army. The Cullen girls were first. Soon the boys would see too.

Now if only Aro could see Mr Fairy too…

**Yes, Mr Fairy returns! And he is real! MWUHAHAHAHA! In case it wasn't obvious, the Cullen's in Girls meeting were plotting world domination in the name of Mr Fairy.**


	16. Warnings

**Number: 27**

**Warnings**

Bella slid the paper over to Edward. I want a divorce. Edward glared at her and signed the papers in every place she told him to. Bella smiled and walked out the door.

"Thanks Edward." She said. Edward frowned, she sounded way too cheery. He examined the papers he had signed and noted in horror that he had given away his fortune and daughter to Bella.

5 Years later.

Renesmee ran into the kitchen where her mother was with a look of outrage on her face. Bella noticed it immediately and frowned, gesturing her to sit down and tell her.

"That idiot BOY asked me out! Boys are stupid! I've learned from your experiences mum, boys suck and we can do better without them!"

Bella smiled and kissed her daughters head. She had learned well. Renesmee began walking away.

"The latest one had this stupid idea that he was a werewolf and had imprinted on me. Arse."


End file.
